If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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