Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
