You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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