it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
