I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
