When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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