i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
