If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
not ubering you a puppy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
