Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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