I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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