i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
