Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
