some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
