I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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