jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The air taste purple.
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