So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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