yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
