Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
