I want to make a zoo with you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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