Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
