Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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