i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
