Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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