It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize