Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dicks are not precious.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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