you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
