Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD