it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY