I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize