if you like me you must not know who I am
Jerry, you need to find god
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
