i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
