My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He shit in the fireplace
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
