No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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