Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
