the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
