im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize