Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
