you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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