dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
