I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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