Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
