my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
