He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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