Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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