Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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