I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
