first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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