you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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