Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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