You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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