I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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