I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
