This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
