I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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