i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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