i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
