Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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