"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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