i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
