i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
