my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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