She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
pray to the hookup gods
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
