Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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