I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
