The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
