Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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